I'm New to This!

Good evening everyone!

Can you believe how beautiful it is outside today? God really is wonderful, how can you look outside and not believe in Him?

Well, this is my first post. And, I guess I should take the time to introduce myself just a bit outside of what mom has already said about me. My name is Stephani, of course, and I am a 20 year old, a Sophomore at CMU. I am currently studying to receive a B. S. of Music with a minor or Foodservice Administration. Not two things normally put together...but, I couldn't fully give up music and I would really like to learn about the business side of foods before I travel away to culinary school! Makes sense now, kind of :). I am an RA in a small residence hall called Barnes. I love it a lot but it definitely takes up a lot of my time. I honestly can't think of anything else to say about me...so there you have it! Now on to real things...

This weeks verse:

"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4

really struck a chord with me. Now, I don't know if mom planned this, but this is exactly the verse I needed this week.

Lately, I have been struggling whether it be with friends, jobs, school, or myself. Out of those four...I'm just going to dive into the "myself" section of it. Lots of things can happen in the mind of a newly 20 year old female. [these thoughts were also present when I was 19..but still]. I have always been the girl to flirt and have fun with guys. I was always going out on dates and it seemed like any guy had a crush on me. But, I have never been able to hold a steady relationship. The relationships I put myself into are not always the healthiest ones and it is probably best that they ended but there are some that would have been nice to keep around. I have been realizing more and more how I sabotage the relationships for myself. Once I meet a great guy and start dating them I somehow convince myself that I am not good enough for them and they deserve someone better. I don't know what happens in my head but it becomes very easy for me to turn my feeling s off for them as soon as I convince myself and then...the relationship just has to end.

Now, this probably doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun and it really isn't for anyone involved. But, since I have realized what I am doing to ruin this relationships I have been able to start taking steps to fix what happens in my head in hopes that I will be able to hold a steady relationship soon! Every girl, teenager, and woman needs to realize how incredible they really are. Every single person has something different to offer and is so special in their own little way. I am just now realizing all of the potential I have and how great of a catch I can really be to some guy.

No one deserves to feel like they should settle for anything less than the best. This verse really shows me that I am worth it. God loves me, even if I can't find a guy, God is still there no matter what. He made every one of us so different and so gifted. I feel like in our present society it is so hard to feel accepted because of all the different ideas that are put into our heads. If we all just took the time to realize how we are special and how we can grow and be amazing to ourselves than I think we would all be happier.

My counselor, last week, asked me to make a list of 10 to 12 reasons why I am worth it and why I am special. I encourage you all to make one of those lists if you are feeling down on yourself or having any doubts. The truth is, we're all worth it. God said it Himself and in reality He is all that matters. Take the time to make one of those lists and really dig down deep for your 12 reasons. It really is a great exercise that made me feel so much better and really helped me realize why I deserve the best.

Have a beautiful week!

Stephani