What I've learned recently...

I know I'm a day late posting this week's memory verse, but I have a good excuse, honest! I spent Friday morning through the wee hours of this morning celebrating college graduation with Kati, the oldest of my daughters, in Valparaiso, Indiana.

What a wonderful time we had...and of course, there are photos to help bring you there with me:

Kati, receiving her Valparaiso University Alumni Guild Distinguished Student Award...awarded for outstanding Service, Leadership, Scholarship, and one more...hopefully Kati will blog and fill us in...you see her plaque in the next photo, but those important descriptive words are hidden by the reflection of my lovely black and white skirt! 

There's the happy award recipient! (Don't you love my skirt already?)

Phi Beta Kappa and the funky handshake!

On Saturday we enjoyed a lovely brunch hosted by Kati's boyfriend, Kurt, and his family, pictured here. It was a great trip and wonderful to meet the family!

Then we tried to accomplish the "look relaxed like you're having fun in a tree" photo....there was a big spider involved...

Getting closer....but still not achieving that carefree look...

Some technical assistance was offered...

...and finally, carefree and happy!...

Love this photo of Kati at Baccalaureate.

Recessional from Baccalaureate...singing, "Our God, Our Help in Ages Past." 
More on that, in a minute...

All graduated!

And, the family photo....

What a day! What a weekend...and besides being just a proud mommy, allow me to reflect and share with you some of the thoughts that I have had over the past several days and weeks.

Most of you that read this know that Tom is my second husband, and that my girls were born to me during my first marriage. I have already shared with most of you, and perhaps even here on this blog that I prayed for the children that God might bless me with even before they were conceived...years before, in fact. I prayed that they might grow up knowing our Father's love, that they might feel the love of a family, that they might be strong and smart and healthy, and that I might be the mother that God wants me to be for them.

There were things about my first marriage that were not at all godly, and were just plain in satan's control. I did what I could to try to defend my marriage, but in the end, that is not what happened. There are, I'm sure, many differing opinions on marriage, divorce, and God's will in all of that. I'm still not clear on exactly where I was to blame and where I was the victim, but in the end, I can tell you that my constant prayer and my prevailing motivator was to raise my daughters in a home that was safe, loving, and modeling for them what I was already praying for in their future relationships. Does that make sense?

None of what I went through was easy, nor were the years to follow. Being a single parent and trying to do it well in the midst of working and trying to provide for all of their physical and emotional needs left me more tired on most days than I've ever been. But my prayer was still the same...that they would be smart, healthy, strong, know the love of their Father and know a loving family..and that I would be the best mom possible for them. I also knew that I couldn't do it all alone, but prayed that my Abba Father would bring into their lives people that could help meet the needs that I could not.

There are volumes that could be written now about the provision from Him, and only Him...but I will save those for another time.

Now, I want to tell you that He is faithful. This weekend to me is evidence of that. The past several months have been evidence of that. What I witness in the lives of my daughters now, takes my breath away. And the faithfulness of their Father and my Father...

I can't tell you the number of times throughout their schooling that their teachers said to me, "You know, I can always 'just tell' those kids that come from a 'broken home' they are sadder, or harder, or fall behind educationally, or just don't fit in. I have to tell you that unless you had shared with me that you are a single parent, I would never have known it by looking at your children." My friends, that is God and God alone. I am such a flawed person, and there were times that I was just too sad, or lonely, or tired, or defeated to be the mom I should have been. My Father carried me and my girls through those years and provided what they needed through me and so many others.

I don't want to take away at all from any of the hard work that Kati did, and boy, did she bust butt to get the grades and awards that she received...she has taught me so much about pursuing your dreams and working hard to accomplish your goals...

But, a mommy's reflection on the past 22 years tells me with spiritual eyes that she wouldn't be the young woman that she is, nor would her sisters, if God hadn't answered our prayers in a mighty way.

Remember that photo of the recessional on Sunday morning...when Kati was singing the hymn, "Our God, Our Help In Ages Past?" I could hardly keep from sobbing out loud during that hymn, and watching her sing it. You see, that hymn was a prayer of mine during those years...look at some of the more meaningful verses that I prayed over and over during those rough days and nights:

Our God, our help in ages past

Our hope for years to come

Our shelter from the stormy blast

And our eternal home.

Under the shadow of thy throne

Still may we dwell secure

Sufficient is thine arm alone

And our defense is sure.

Our God, our help in ages past

Our hope for years to come

Be thou our guide while life shall last

And our eternal home.

I know that you know what those words might have meant to me. My sisters in Christ, I had days and nights that I just cried those words and my other prayers and pains to Him...knowing that the Spirit intercedes for us to the Father. I was so weak and tired sometimes that my only strength was in knowing that the Spirit was interceding for me. I cry as I write this because there were moments that I was sure I couldn't do it, but I didn't know how to give up.

But, that's not the end of the story. No. Yesterday morning I sang with my daughters, my husband, and my dear friends as we all watched Kati singing those words walking out of the church. 

God is faithful.

Today, wherever you are in your life...filled up with hope, or more tired than you can express, I want you to know that He is faithful and merciful. I am evidence of it. Me, this cracked vessel. When I wasn't sure I could provide for my girls, He was providing for all of us. We didn't have much for many of those years, but we had enough, and we had each other. 

And, this is way too long, but I believe my girls would agree with me when I say that the biggest, most meaningful provision He made for us was allowing Tom to share our lives and demonstrate unconditional love to all of us. His impact on our lives is beyond words...

Thankful.

If you've followed to the end of this, you are a faithful reader. :) Thank you. I hope my story is an encouragement to someone.