mwen pa konnen.

"mwen pa konnen" is creole for "i don't know". i couldn't think of anything better for a title and it sounds better in creole. ;]

this is my first post and i'm a little unsure of what to write about. i was telling my mom how i feel like i have so much to say that it seems like there's nothing to say at all. it's kind of an annoying feeling. so i guess i'll just start with the basics and whatever comes to mind.

i'm adrianne. i'm twenty. [yup; i am a teen no longer.] i am going to be a junior this fall at oakland university. i'm majoring in communications and minoring in sociology. i have dog, well, a boosh. his name is rocky. and he's a boooooosh. i love the beach. i love making videos and music videos. [some of you may have seen some goofy one's i've made before. they're just so much funnn.] i've recently taken up guitar and i played the ukulele a lot better before i started learning how to play guitar. i work at tim hortons. [lisa franey gets vanilla dip donuts for the girls some mornings before school.] it may sound easy, but some people like their coffee very complicated. and it's amazing the amount of multitasking it takes to run a successful tim hortons. it can be crazy sometimes, but i love it.

my life as a whole is kinda crazy right now. it's funny how you can live your life a certain way for so long and then realize it's completely not what you wanted at all. i had a sort of epiphany like this about six months ago. and let me tell you, it's been a crazy six months.

it all started after the earthquake in haiti on january 12th. it was like i woke up after being asleep for the past two years.

at that time, i thought i had my whole life planned out. [i can just picture God up there cracking up at me and my silly "life plans".] i was going to school for communications, but i intended on becoming a film editor. i was in a relationship with logan and we had been dating for almost two years at that point. we had talked endlessly about how we were going to get married, have four kids [tutton charles, hayden thomas, noah, and june], get great jobs, he would coach the hockey team, i would NOT get a minivan...etc. we had everything planned and i was happy! i was so excited for my future, but the thing is, it was MY future. the future i had planned for myself. i got lost in a boy and in our material everyday life. i forgot that i don't make the plans; God does. and he made sure he made that clear to me.

after the earthquake happened, i was heartbroken. i didn't know what to do with myself. i couldn't even stand to talk about it. i ignored it for the first week because i just couldn't respond. i didn't know how to feel or what to do. and then i knew. i knew i needed to be there. all i could think about were those beautiful children at the orphanage. i don't know how i forgot about my love for haiti, but after the earthquake happened i was reminded of a huge part of me that had somehow gotten lost in my everyday life.

when i was sixteen and first went to haiti, i left knowing that i wanted to work at the orphanage when i grew up. even on my second trip, i knew that's what i was meant to do. and then i met logan and fell in love. hard. and nothing else seemed to matter. i went away to school. met new people. had new experiences. i just got caught up in life and somehow lost haiti. when i heard about the earthquake, it was like a kick in the face. all i wanted to do was be there with those kids.

so i started talking to my parents about when we could go, what we could do, but all anyone said was "we can't go now, we'd just be in the way, we just have to wait". and i knew that was the truth, but it was honestly killing me to just sit there day in and day out and think about what was happening in haiti. i felt so useless and pathetic. then i had an idea.

i made a few phone calls and before i knew it the haiti lives! benefit was on the calendar! with the help of a few beautiful women at good shepherd lutheran church, i held a haiti coffeehouse benefit at my church. there was live music, food, drinks, and friends! it was a lot of work and it wouldn't have been possible without the awesome help i received, but it was so worth it. i finally felt like i was doing something to help haiti! i knew that i was doing all i could do to help without being there. and that was an amazing feeling.

another thing that God put into my life is perhaps the most beautiful friendship that i have ever had with a lovely girl named julianne sabo.

julie and i have known each other since we were in high school, but we were never really friends. i sincerely believe that God brought julie and i together to do amazing things. after the earthquake happened, i was heartbroken. i felt like no one else really knew how i felt or what was going on. then i started talking to julie. i don't even know what brought about our conversations, but i can tell you that my friendship with julie gave me hope. it was like when we were together talking about our love for haiti nothing else mattered and anything could happen. [sounds kinda dorky, but it's true.] we could just sit and talk for hours about God and haiti and how we couldn't live without them. i can tell you that i have never had a more inspiring and beautiful friendship before. it was amazing. she and i soon discovered that we were feeling the exact same way about haiti. about being there and working there. we would sit and talk and pray about what God wanted us to do. my relationship with julie has opened my eyes to so many things that i never would have even thought about before. i am so blessed with the best friend God could have picked out for me.

[sorry, got sidetracked. back to the craziness that is my life now.]

soon after the haiti benefit, tom and i planned our trip to haiti. we left march 23rd and came back the 29th. i was nervous about my trip, one: because i'd never been to haiti without a mission team. i was worried i wouldn't love it as much if my friends weren't there with me. and two: i hoped that this trip would help me understand God's calling for my life.

it was a lot of pressure for just a week long trip! so we set off and, as it always does, went by too fast.

as we were waiting for our plane to take off for fort lauderdale i was feeling something different than every other time i've left haiti. normally, i am sad to be leaving the kids and the izidors, but i'm exicted to go home to my friends, my family, and my booooosh. but this time i didn't feel that. i had absolutely no desire to go home. in fact, i felt like i was leaving home. i was sort of a weird experience. i mean, i knew i would see my mom, my boyfriend, my boosh when i got home, but i wasn't excited like i had been before. and that's when i knew for sure.

as i started thinking about what God's plan for me in haiti meant i started thinking about what things in my life i would have to sacrifice to live out His plan. i wouldn't get an expensive car, i wouldn't get a fancy job or a big house, but for once in my life this didn't disappoint me. i actually couldn't understand why i had wanted those things in the first place. and it's so weird, even now, that i just don't get that life anymore. and i'm not saying anyone's wrong for wanting those things; it's just not what i want anymore.

and look at me now! it's now three and a half months later and i'm getting ready to go back again!! i can't even explain how excited i am! julie, my mom, and i are headed back to les cayes, haiti on july 12!

i really want to go into more detail about this trip coming up and i will!! just not tonight because i have to work at timmys at 5:30am tomorrow so it's already past my bedtime annnnd i've already written waaaay too much. you guys are probably going into information overload here. i pinky promise i will post about this trip before we leave!

"...love the Lord and follow His plan for your lives. cling to Him and serve Him enthusiastically."

Joshua 22:5

it took some time and an earthquake, but God has finally gotten his message through to me. i finally get it. and it feels good.