i am sitting here in my living room alone wondering where the time went. it honestly feels like yesterday i was sitting upstairs debating with julie on if i should bring my cowboy hat or not.
but it wasn't yesterday. my fifteen days in haiti flew by like they always do. i feel like the time went by so quickly my mind couldn't hang on to all the beautiful things happening around me.
and now i'm here with a broken heart. and this kind is hard to fix because i left most of it in haiti where i belong.
it's hard to explain what i'm feeling right now. i feel sad, but that's a given. i feel lonely without israelson, my parents, and those beautiful children i left behind. i feel like i want to tell everyone about it, but i don't want to talk. i feel eager to start planning my next trip to haiti.
i remember sitting on the plane on the flight back to michigan crying because no part of me was ready to leave and i was thinking how ironic it was; just two weeks earlier i was on a plane on my way to haiti crying tears of joy because i was finally going to be home again.
i'm looking over my journal from the past two weeks to try and remind myself of all the things i want to share with you. it's kind of funny to see my writing day to day. almost every day starts with "today was the best day" or "today was the most perfect day". i didn't even notice i was doing that. every day is perfect to me in haiti.
so first of all, before we left our house i was appointed the "team leader". how exciting!! i just really wanted to see if i could do it alone since i hope to work with mission teams coming to haiti in the future. it was a lot of fun! everything went really smoothly. mom and julie started calling me "TLA". (team leader A)
the first day in haiti was so refreshing. after planning for so long and counting down the days, to actually be there was awesome. i also finally got to meet ketura!! she is such a sweetheart and so filled with the Spirit. she is such a beautiful woman. and she's so buff!! we also finally got to see leonie again! after having her with us for so long in michigan it felt like i hadn't seen her in forever! i just love being around the Izidor family. they are so beautiful and overflowing with God's love.
one thing that really struck me as we traveled from port-au-prince to les cayes was that while i am SOSOSO thankful that our kids at the orphanage aren't living on the streets, i feel guilty for not giving other kids in haiti the same things i give to the kids at CIO. i mean, of course i love the kids at the orphanage and would give them the world if i could, but i realized that besides my first trip to haiti, i haven't done much outreach to the community in les cayes.
that is one thing that i really really want to work on more next summer while i'm working in haiti. i mean, the kids in the community of les cayes need to hear the Gospel just as much as the kids at the orphanage do!! i just feel really guilty for not realizing this sooner.
anyways, throughout the week i witnessed some beautiful things and experienced things i never have before!
one thing that was so simple, but yet so beautiful was our walk to the beach. not just that it was pretty scenery, but it was who i was walking with. the entire way there sarah (a little girl i connected with right away on my first trip to haiti) and a girl named francesca held my hands as we walked. they would lead me around puddles or tall grass, but no matter how far apart we needed to walk from each other to avoid the obstacles; they wouldn't let go of my hands. then all the way back to the property jean junio was glued to my side. jean junio and i have had a special relationship since my second trip. he is the most handsome boy you'll ever meet. his smile just radiates God's love. and it was so incredible simple, but so perfect at the same time.
one day, we went to torbeck to hang out with all the kids while mom and tom worked on the wall. we all went under the cabana to sit, play games, and sing. then it started pouring rain. and when it rains in haiti, it really rains. we must have been sitting there for two hours. at one point, i was sitting on the end of a lawn chair with four kids sitting on the rest of the chair, and three on my lap. sounds uncomfortable, but i didn't want that moment to end. those kids bring so much joy to my soul; it is unbelievable.
then mom and tom said it was time to go so julie and i had to run over to the car. we were in the rain for maybe thirty seconds and we were completely soaked when we got in. then we watched jean junio take five kids at a time underneath a tablecloth back to their houses so they wouldn't get wet. tom picked up the rest of the girls in the truck and drove them back.
it is so refreshing to see kids that care for one another as much as these kids do. they are always looking out for one another and always there for each other. it's amazing.
one day we sorted clothing that was in the storage room. we packed tubs of clothes for the kids at the orphanage and tubs for people in carrefour duclos. (which is where our sister church is)
handing out the clothes was such a surprising experience for me. i know that if i lived with 14 other girls i would be fighting for the clothes that i liked, but the girls would watch us pick an item of clothing up and then they would tell us who they think it would fit. there was no fighting at all. it made me realize just how much we take for granted in the states and how selfish i am. here they are, kids who rarely get new clothes and they are all making sure that each of them got a decent amount of clothes. seeing that really made me contemplate how i deal with things in my life.
the most beautiful thing about this trip was obviously the kids, but it wasn't just that. it was how they opened up. this was my fourth trip to the children of israel orphanage and i've always had tons of fun playing with the kids and loving on them, but this time even the shy kids showed their personalities.
claudine is one of the girls at the orphanage. she is so beautiful and so sweet, but she's always been quiet around me. i thought that was just her personality. maybe she was just shy. i remember vividly the first time i heard her laughing; i mean, really laughing.
we were sitting under the cabana after sarah's birthday party and she was doing my hair. a few of the girls and i were
playing the "my name is..." game. you basically just say "my name is..."and name whoever you want! some of the girls were saying "mulan"; there was a "cinderella" every now and then. then someone said "my name is king kong!" and with their accent it sounded like "ching chong". so i said, "you're name is ching chong?" i thought claudine was going to fall over she was laughing so hard. it just melted my heart. and after that she was talking to me all the time!
it was just so cool to see that the kids were really finally starting to get comfortable with me. which made me fall in love even harder.
before we knew it, it was monday and our first day of VBS! the week of
VBS went by so quickly! what was so amazing was that so many things popped up that julie and i didn't even think about. for example, on tuesday we were supposed to use water balloons in our game time, but they wouldn't fill up because there wasn't enough water pressure. you would have thought that that little problem would ruin the game for the day, but it didn't! julie and i just came up with a different game using blown up water balloons rather than filled with water. and the kids loved it!! i was even surprised at how quickly julie and my minds were working to solve the different problems thrown at us. i mean, we figured out a different game and how it related to our scripture lesson in literally two minutes! i would have expected that to normally take quite a while, if we came up with a new game at all!
another thing that seemed to just jump out at me was the power of God's Word and prayer. julie and i tried to do a devotion and pray together every morning before we started our day. there were two days that julie and i were slacking on our devotion and prayer together and it was SO apparent throughout our entire day. those two days that we didn't begin with thanking and praising our God were the hardest days we had to deal with. we found ourselves losing patience with each other and with the kids, both of us were just in bad moods; it basically just sucked. and then we both realized it. we prayed together and it was like instantly everything was better. i mean, you could feel the atmosphere change around us. it was like God was sitting right there with us.
that was when i really began to realize how crucial it is to immerse yourself in God's love and His Word, especially when you're there. without it, it's hopeless. we weren't able to share His Word with the kids like we should have been, we weren't getting along with each other, we just didn't even want to do anything. as soon as we gave it all to the Lord in prayer, it was lifted from us. i mean, talk about powerful!! after that we did a devotion every day together and we started every day with a prayer together. it was the most refreshing, empowering time of the day for me. and i'm so glad that God helped me to see just how important it is to revolve everything around Him, especially in haiti.
now for the next ten months as i plan my trip for next summer, i know what i really need to work on. and that's my relationship with our Lord. without a strong, committed relationship with Him i will never survive four months in haiti. i am so looking forward to my spiritual growth in the coming months!
i will continue to post more blogs with little stories and experiences that happened over the course of my trip, but i think that this is enough information for you to process for now.
it's exhausting and a little overwhelming to try to explain everything in just one sitting. (although it has taken me four days to complete this post) so as i start to process the rest of my trip i will post stories that i know you all want to hear.
overall, this was the most amazing trip to haiti i've been on. it was so beautiful to have all of the kids open up to us and i think that's ultimately what has made it so hard to readjust here. i am home when i'm there with them so now coming here seems so weird and uncomfortable. (coming home to an empty house helps too)
some of you may be wondering when i'm going back to haiti! well, let me tell you! i have been talking to yelline isidor and nora leon about traveling to haiti for about four months next summer. i plan on leaving for haiti the second week in may and coming back towards the middle or end of august. i can't even explain how excited it am!!
i will be working with the mission teams that travel to the orphanage while i am there. i will help plan what their projects are for everyday and i will work along with them over the course of their trips! i am also hoping to plan three mission teams myself. nothing is official yet, but i am hoping to take a team down when i travel to haiti in may, julie sabo may be a team leader and bring a team down in the middle of june, and i am still looking for a third team leader to bring a team down in july or august.
if anyone is at all interested in being a part of any of these teams please let me know!! as soon as i get the okay from yelline and nora i will try to start planning these mission trips!
also, i am already saving up for my trip next summer. i would love it if you would keep me and my plans in your thoughts and prayers! if you feel called to donate to my trip that would be AMAZING. you can either contact me about a donation or tom with firmly rooted.
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'
And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"
Isaiah 6:8
i just want to thank everyone who has been constantly supporting me with all of my trips to haiti and back. i can't explain how much it means to me to know that i have family and friends backing me up with prayers and love!! to be working in haiti and think about all the love and support i have here is overwhelming! i love each and every one of you and i thank God for you every single day!
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1 comment:
this is beautiful.
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